I’ll be Beck…
“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” - Winnie The Pooh, A.A.Milne
The date had been marked in the calander for months. My packing lists on my notes were edited daily and I had everything ready. Sort of.
My flight was Monday 27th February 09:55, and I only got my bag 5 days before. I had a few picked out, back packs mainly but as I wasn’t technically back packing I went for a giant 90ltr suitcase/bag on wheels which myself and mum (mainly mum) managed to organize the way too many clothes I packed into compartments and organize my electronics and liquids.
I’d like to think I mostly packed sensibly. The outfit I would wear to the wedding was a cute green jumpsuit that could be dressed up for the event or dressed down for a nice day out. I had good everyday walking shoes and different hiking shoes. Compression socks (4 for some reason), probably about 20 pairs of pants and way too many black t-shirts, some of which I haven’t worn yet. Lesson learned for future travels though! I was told by every ticktock packing video I watched I didn’t need to bring that much but did I listen? It was only an issue when I was lugging it around hotels and hostels before I got the van so at least I don’t have to worry about it till next March…
The next panic was getting physical copies of my visa and passport after my printer died but after signing mum up to the local library it was panic over.
So packing - check, documents - check, what next? Oh yeah, saying goodbye to everyone I love (insert crying emojis here).
I organized a couple evenings in Bath with the Moles family - bowling and bars! Did some hippie shopping in Glastonbury with Max and visited Whales to meet Laura & Barney’s bump, had a weekend in Burnham with my two “lads” DLJ & JBH with good food, films and games. Had sleepovers with my bestie and took some cheesy photos on the beach before too many 2p coins wasted in the amusements. Had a big old fashioned Dunny crew Friday night with the family friends, and a lush dinner in my honor at my godparents with sparkling 0% wine and was given a cute anxiety necklace to wear on the plane.
I had a special weekend up at my sister’s a few weeks before where after over a year I finally went to see her place of work - Whipsnade zoo! Which is where I spent my last day in the UK with my whole family whilst we annoyed her at work. It was such a perfect day. As we get older the family outings get rarer and it felt like no time had passed since we would run around a zoo as kiddies! We stayed at a hotel near the airport and enjoyed some classic Travelodge dinner together before trying to sleep despite the nerves kicking in. The nerves didn’t go away until I landed in Melbourne but they did get drowned out by excitement with every step of the morning…
Getting the shuttle bus over with the giant bag I named ‘Big Burt’. Checking in at the scanner machine thing that printed my tickets which only then made me believe my ticket was legit. Checking Big Burt in which already felt like a load off despite my brother being the one that carried him from the shuttle bus. I couldn’t eat anything before the plane so sat with my family drinking my coffee and watching the line for security get bigger until it was time to say goodbye.
Having my mum, dad, brother and sister come with me to the airport felt so special. I am so lucky to have my family who were so excited for me. Brother and Sister couldn’t hide their excitement but Mum and Dad couldn’t hide their tears - which nearly got me!
Despite having my best friend and parents cry on me when saying goodbye I didn’t return the favor - I guess I was too excited! Nah I’m lying I totally cried when none of them were looking. The thought of not getting my hugs from them was quite a biggy - I’m a hugger! I know social media is so accessible now but I would be on the other side of the world from my people, 12 hours ahead on opposite clocks, missing daily updates and important events. I miss them so much - but I am so lucky I get to go back to them all, and hopefully have some join me before that.
I was pretty cool and calm on the plane, as uncomfortable as the first journey was I braved getting up to pee! It wasn’t until an hour later I realised I had left my phone in the toilet! The couple next to me had to let me back out and I disturbed the busy flight attendants when I saw it was missing from the toilet. I went back to my seat phoneless whilst they looked and thought the following…
“What are you doing here Anna you can’t even hold onto your phone on a plane in the sky why do you think you can go to the otherside of the world and do anything? I wish I wasn’t alone, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done”.
And I hid my face into my window seat and tried my hardest to hold back my tears to not cry Infront of rows of strangers. Which I failed at.
Fast forward 20 minutes after the lovely flight attendant gave me my phone back and I thought; “That was a bit dramatic Anna, stop being silly. We’ve got this”.
The feeling I had all through my time in Australia really felt like “No Worries”. I had no one depending on me and no commitments and I can’t explain how rare and amazing that felt. Being in NZ has not felt quite like that which worried me for a while but then I realized - oh yeah, I’ve just bought a van, the most amount of money I’ve ever spent, and I’ve also never lived in a van or been on holiday by myself let alone travel a whole country on the other side of the world - breath woman!
Not every day on the road is easy, and I often wish I bought Mrs Christmas with me (my childhood teddy the size of my torso). I miss hugging my mum, I miss talking to my sister all the time, I miss alexa-ing my dad for a 5-minute call that turns into 2 hours, I miss my brother’s BBQs and warming smile, I miss sleepovers with my friends and last-minute plans that turn into unforgettable memories. I worry things will be different when I get home, I worry I’m not there for everyone when they need me. These will never go away and it also won’t stop me from living my life - they wouldn’t let it. I’m so grateful for the video calls and voice notes from friends and family updating me on home news or just calling whilst they get ready for work, or sending me funny tiktoks. They tell me they miss me but they also tell me to send them photos of where I’ve been and tell me how proud they are of me for what I am doing. This is what Dwayne Johnson must mean when he says…”I got family”. I am so lucky to have these people who I miss beyond words. I am so lucky to have these people to miss.
“We wish you a wonderful adventure ‘there’, as long as you ‘come back again!’” - Mum & Dad x
